The Final Ashra

Already we are in the last ashra of Ramadan. I am so pleased for those who are able to engage in Itikaf this year, may Allah accept their efforts and reward them abundantly. Its not as easy as it looks, take my grandmother, she did it once about 15 years ago, she had no problem with the prayers, mashallah she normally spends her whole day engaged in talawat and zikr. It was the fact that she was not supposed to speak to us. Her daughter-in-laws would prepare her food and send it to her room via the grandchildren. We had strict instructions to leave the food and come straight back and not to pester gran. We would open the door and shove the food in and rush back, by the end of ten days she was desperate to speak to someone, Eid was a bit of a relief I think.

The effects of Ramadan are beginning to show on many of us now; tiredness, lack of sleep, enormous bags under the eyes, but we have managed to spend 20 days living in a way that pleases Allah and that sets a standard for the rest of the year. I love the way neighbours send food to each other, the fact that other Muslims are so much warmer at this time of year, that the mosque’s are busy even at fajr time and that people try so hard to give up bad habits (except Dad-in-law and his cigarettes, but we are in the process of harassing him into giving them up)

Even so, this Ramadan has been difficult for me in that I have had to accept that with three little ones I cannot do all the taraweeh prayers every night, read as much Quran or manage as much ibadat as previous years and this makes me feel a little like I have lost out on something or am wasting the benefits I could have gained in this precious month. My husband consoles me by saying that he and the rest of the family can undertake their worship in peace because I am taking care of the meals and the children so I will get a reward equal to them, not sure about this, but hope its true.