Hajj Journal 2005 – Part 1: Getting There

As my best friend just left for Hajj (may Allah SWT accept her pilgrimage insh'Allah), I dug out my old Hajj journal from 2005 (the year there were two Hajj – January and the following December). I recognised so many of her hopes and worries in what I had written. I had hoped to reproduce this last year, but didn’t get the chance, so here goes.

29 November 2005 – Received Tickets today for our Hajj, after weeks of worrying and doubt. This means we are definitely going! (insh’Allah). Trying to get ready physically (packing), financially (will, debts, bills) and spiritually (Fazail-e-Hajj, reading hajj journals, learning dua’s). Feel so unprepared.

2 December 2005 – It hasn’t sunk in that we are going. Still keep praying that we will actually go. What a humbling thought that Allah (SWT) would wish to invite the likes of us to his house.

10 December 2005 – Every now and again it enters my heart during salaah or just whilst thinking that we are going to the house of Allah (SWT). It overwhelms me completely, I can neither imagine it nor does it feel entirely real.

22 December 2005 – After a false start (should have flown 14/12/05) and much anguish I am sitting in Jeddah airport. Can’t believe I am here! (Can’t believe am still wearing this niqab!). Got to Heathrow last week only to be told that my husband’s passport doesn’t have a visa to go via Cyprus. Had to find someone to take us home (the kindness of strangers) and much whinging, crying, navel-gazing, wondering and sulking ensued. Am now trying to get a plane ticket to Madinah to catch up with our group (Insh’Allah). Have missed a weeks worth of ibadah/Umrah at Makkah and also the experience of putting your ihram on on the plane and preparing to enter Makkah, but everything happens as Allah (SWT) intends and we should accept this. Am starting to miss my babies, I hope Allah (SWT) makes this easy for them and me.

22 December 2005 – Finally in MADINAH!!!! Got two free tickets in Jeddah from a man who said he was going by bus and got to Madinah in 30 minutes (6 hours plus by bus). Sooo relieved. Read Asr, Maghrib and Esha in Masjid Nabvi. Will try to do salaam tomorrow. Overwhelmed and exhausted.