One Door Closes and Another Opens

I have been trying to sit down and write something and upload some pictures for days, but have not had any luck until now due to my volatile work situation.

Due to the threat of redundancy (which likely won’t happen now) and complete and utter boredom with certain parts of my work I have been job-hunting. I applied for a vacancy within my office which was right up my street (creating community projects for local Councillors) and was delighted to be invited to an interview. The only thing was they also wanted me to give a ten-minute presentation as part of the interview. After spending a week researching and reading and putting together a hand-out and presentation, I was stopped in my tracks. I met one of the women in the team who also had three children and asked after her children, she joked that she would let me know when she got to see them and confided that she was relieved that her child-minder was so accommodating. I had to call up HR and tell them I wouldn’t be attending the interview. I am willing to work twice as hard, but not to give up my weekends or evenings to work, my children deserve more than that.

I passed my research to a colleague (who I am pleased to say got the job) and tried not to dwell on events. I have to admit though that I did feel sad that I was giving up on such an exciting opportunity. I knew I just had to accept that this is the choice you sometimes have to make as a mother and that another name for “Muslim working mother” is sacrifice. Some women sacrifice time, family life and personal time to serve their communities and change their worlds for the better. Some women sacrifice years of education and their career dreams to stay at home and bring up their children in the best way possible.

I tried to forget about it, until the next day I got a call inviting me to interview for another job I applied for and thought was far out of my reach (coordinating outreach projects with the local Muslim community). I was pleased and mightily relieved I didn’t have to give a presentation until the next day the formal letter dropped through my door telling me I had to give a presentation to a panel of 5-6 people on a subject I know nothing about! I was so busy with work and the kids that I had no time to prepare, so I stayed up until 4.30am on Saturday morning to get everything done (my husband says that I just have to give a few more interviews and I’ll be a size 8 again through sheer nerves). So I am ready. I think. My work colleagues have agreed to let me practice my presentation on them in a bit, so I am getting my bouncy red ball ready for the presentation ice-breaker. I’ll try not to hit anyone in the face with it.