Baby Bliss

The kids have been playing a nice little game with us, taking turns to throw up in the middle of the night (strip the bed, strip the child, bath it, find more bedding etc at 2 am). Although the older two’s stomachs seem to have settled down, the baby is still having his moments, so we have decided not to give him milk at bedtime for a few days until he is less phlegmy, I’d like to say less snotty, but that will be sometime mid-summer. Baby didn’t agree and cried for his bottle (I know, I know your supposed to stop the bottle at one, but if it means he’s drinking lots of milk I am happy for him to have a bit longer).

So last night, he came to ask for his bottle and began to cry when I put him back to bed without. I was in the middle of Esha, but not concentrating very well, so took him in my arms and sat on the prayer mat cross-legged and sang to him. I worked my way through broken bits of all the nasheeds I know and then seeing him still wide-eyed I began again. Often I have noted, I have tried to get a baby to sleep and I am stressed myself, so the baby refuses to settle. The minute I cam down, or begin to day-dream and forget where I am, I look down to find the baby sound-asleep.

It was the same last night. I came to from my wanderings and found him contently asleep. The sense of peace and healing I got from that moment was immense. All of the stress of the last week ago at work and home and the underlying anxiety that builds up in me every now and again was gone. I felt very much “blissed out”. It felt like I was doing the most natural thing a woman could do – completely and totally in line with our nurturing fitrah (inherent disposition or nature) and I felt like I could stay that way forever.

I suppose I should make the most of it, it won’t last long. Soon he’ll be all limbs and elbows like the other two (not that it stops them from climbing into my lap) and won’t sit still long enough. But for now he is a source of absolute pleasure.