Ramadan Slow-Down

I took this week off to rest, catch up on my sleep, prepare for Eid and most importantly try to gain the most benefit from the last days of Ramadan. Instead I have found myself running around like a headless chicken, finding that I am managing to get nothing done and fretting that I am not engaging in enough ibadah (worship) or improving upon the quality of it.

I remember getting to this stage last Ramadan and making myself slow down, calm down and be a bit more thoughtful about what is important and what I can let go of. Obviously I did not learn the lesson and had to learn it again this year. It came to a head today when I was disorientated because I had woken early for suhoor, woken early again for the the school run, gone shopping for my hubby’s Eid clothes, then gone back to sleep at 11am. I made a second trip to Green Street to look for clothes for the boys (please don’t ask me why I left it so late) and got back empty-handed 45 minutes before it was time to open the fast. Somehow the baby managed to trap his finger in the car door and bang his head at the same time. I thought I would die, but alhamdulillah his finger wasn’t broken and he stopped crying after a few minutes (far quicker than I would have) although I will be totally molly-coddling him for the next six months.


I managed to prepare the iftar meal in a rush with Fashionista trying to get me to calm down and stop stressing and with the kids playing up as they do every day at iftar time. I was also going round in circles in y head about which day Eid would be, whether my parents would be celebrating the same day, what this would mean for me in terms of cooking/visiting, whether the kids would have Eid on Sunday and then take Monday off too or have Eid on Monday and go school on Tuesday as they are only allowed one day off. Whether this would mean they need one outfit or two

At this point I had to stop and take a look at myself. What on earth was I doing and what was I actually achieving? Nothing. So I decided to stop rushing to finish the Quran in a panic, and put the to-do list down for now. Hubby is doing the school run tomorrow, he also has a shopping list. I will be reading the Quran s-l-o-w-l-y insh’Allah even if it means I finish after Ramadan. I will be taking my time during taraweeh, even if it means I pray (far) less than twenty, after all even one rakaah is worthless if I am not concentrating on Allah (SWT).

If I have any time left, I will finish off some of my craft projects and pick up that to-do list again.