My extended family is quite typical of most families – we squabble, we argue, we refuse to have anything to do with each other , someone dies, we all get together again looking rather sheepish but talking once more and then we start squabbling again.
One arm of the family had a bit of an “episode” recently and I found myself involved, with younger members complaining, and older members of the family needing cajoling. I was happy I could be there for my younger cousins, but it got me thinking and it made me a little maudlin.
I am the oldest out of my siblings, the oldest cousin on my mum’s side and one of the older ones on my dad’s side. I am also the oldest of the cousins who have grown up here together. I take my big sister role seriously and I treasure the affection I get from everyone. I have always been happy to have my sisters and brother around, my brothers-in-law, my cousins and my sisters friends – laughing an joking and talking things through.
But today I got to thinking about having someone that I could do that for myself with. My parents had another daughter before me that passed away, so you can imagine the love I got from everyone. I sometimes wonder how things would have been if she had been the big sister. Truly Allah (SWT) is great and his decree is unavoidable and for the benefit of the Muslims. (I hope I get to meet my big sis one day in jannah though insh’Allah, ameen).
I got to thinking about who I would go to if I needed to talk. Alhamdulillah, there is my better half and my bestest friend who between them take care of this need, but still, a big sister…someone you can discuss your squabbling family with. Someone who could advise me on balancing the needs of in-laws with extended family. Someone who could tell me off when I needed it. Someone who has done the whole work/kids/school/what on earth am I doing routine.
Then I thought about the blogging community and it made me smile. Whenever I have been unsure and have thrown a question out there, I have received a generous response, there has always been someone to leave a useful comment or send an e-mail advising me (like a very kind sister who gave me some good advice recently which I very much took to heart)
So I wish everyone Jummah Mubarak, but in particular my sisters out there for listening and for sharing their thoughts.
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Jumuah mubarak to you as well sis! Mashallah once again loved reading your post. There are so many things to learn from your blog :-) May Allah swt keep you happy and blessed sis!
ReplyDeleteJM to you too!
ReplyDeleteRecently, your words have been so inspiring, so insightful, interesting-they have been your best writings.
I found out about my mother's miscarriage (before having me) when I was a teenager. Since than, I had always dreamed what it would be like if it didn't happen-a big brother/sister-always imagining that he/she would be looking out form me, sharing secrets and seeking advice. It still brings tears to me whenever I remember.
Life is always full of 'ifs' and 'whats'-that's the problem, bo reply button! But its great you have found it in others. I'm lucky to have my hubby, but still haven't found that 'friend' in that role.
JZK for your thoughts.
Lots of Love