Shopping with Children

Toilet every ten minutes
Touching everything
Fighting
Whinging “why can’t I have it, but why can’t I?” on and on.
Hitting everyone with the free balloon tied to their wrist
Getting the balloon caught in the racks.
Dropping their little bag of shopping every ten minutes (the strawberries/grapes/chips will be mush by the time you get home).
Begging to sit on every ride they go past (you know the ones that you put coins in?)
Going down the escalator and then trying to go back up whilst everyone else is going down.
Arguing at EVERY SINGLE lift about whose turn it is to press the buttons.
Hanging their feet out of the pram and dragging their feet (until your arms are ready to drop off) Holding the pram as they walk and putting their weight on it so you are dragging a pram full of shopping with a baby inside and two more hanging off, again until your arms are ready to drop off (the pram is now retired and I do not miss it).
Walking into elderly people.
Arguing on the bus about whose turn it is to press the button to get off.
Making loud comments (Little Lady a few years ago: “Mum, mum that lady has ceegrit, that’s dirty!!” Also Little Lady: “Mum, that lady has blue hair, I didn’t know you could get blue hair”).
If they annoy me too much I make them hold a bag of shopping each, or make them carry my items round the store until I make the final decision about what I need to get. If I get really fed up we all just give up and go to pizza hut (they have toilets too).

I was going to write about things I do when I take them shopping to make the whole affair easier. But I can’t think of anything. Apart from saying it’s better to leave them at home, or fob them off on relatives for a few hours. Or just order everything via the internet and never take them near the mall.