As parents we want to afford our children the best education and provide
excellent tarbiyyah (upbringing and manners).
As spouses we want to be fun and attractive - dressed well and
interesting. As home-makers we want our
food to taste amazing and our home to look spotless and stylish. As individuals we dream about finding ways to
make enough money to achieve all of our dreams – to travel, to write that
novel, to start that amazing business.
There is nothing wrong with these things, after all life is to be lived and
Allah (SWT) says “And when the prayer has
been concluded, disperse within the land and seek from the bounty of Allah ,
and remember Allah often that you may succeed.” (Quran 62:10) and after all
working hard for many of these things is part of our faith.
Like everyone else I have my hopes and dreams. I think day and night about how I can educate
my children in the best way and improve their manners, the perfect recipe that
would please everyone, the next blog post or article to write, the next craft
to attempt, how I can organise my home better, how I can develop myself further
to achieve some of the projects I have daydreamed about. They often overwhelm my mind, all demanding
my attention and vying for focus. I have
been trying my best to work on all of these and also praying to Allah (SWT) for
help in doing a good job of them.
Yet something I read recently stopped me in my tracks:
“Extensive hopes (about this
worldly life) give rise to lethargy when it comes to acts of obedience,
procrastinating with repentance, desire for worldly things, forgetfulness of
the hereafter and hardness of the heart; because the softness of the heart and
its purity only comes about by remembering death, the grave, reward and
punishment, and the horrors of the hereafter…for if one remembers death, he
strives to do acts of obedience, his worries decrease and he is satisfied with
less.” (Sheikh Tawfique Choudhry)
We work so hard, we run around and yet often we achieve so little. The quote above indicates that the reason for
this is that great hopes for this life lead to laziness when it comes to our
relationship with Allah (SWT) and obeying his commandments. This is not to say that our work and effort
in this world is not necessary, but it reminded me that this should not be our
only focus. It made me think of how
often our dua’s are filled with requests for help in worldly things and how the
thoughts of the next life are pushed out.
It also made me mindful of how overwhelming all of the demands of
modern life can be and how often we are trying to do so many things at once or are
already thinking about the next task or role even as we are in the middle of
the current one. Whenever I feel
overwhelmed by all of these thoughts, a particular quote often comes to mind “Doing
the best at this moment puts you in the best place for the next moment.” (Oprah
Winfrey).
This way of thinking makes me take a step back and think about what is
the best thing I could be doing right in this moment? There are many times when I have asked this
questions and it has benefited me: when I want to spend the afternoon watching
movies, but decided the best thing I could do in the moment is practise my Arabic
or make dhikr or read to the kids or cook something wholesome for my
family. This question helps me to step
back from the multitude of demands the to-do list in my mind is making and pick
one and concentrate on it fully.
Stepping away from all of the noise helps me to be present in the
moment and focus on what I am doing, to find benefit and pleasure in it and to
do a better job because I am concentrating rather than rushing. Doing things mindfully and a bit more slowly
and thoroughly also helps to make time to do the action in a way that is more
beneficial - whether doing it in the sunnah way, engaging in dhikr whilst I do
it, or correcting my intention as to why I am doing it.
As we begin the new year and I am inundated with ideas and products for
achieving new dreams and goals, both in the shops and in my mailbox, thinking
of the next life and being mindful of what I am doing in this minute are both
having a calming effect on me and helping to undertake the right actions one at
a time, rather than feeling stressed about all of them at once.