So I went in to school and met another mother that had been called
in. We were greeted by the year group
leader who sat us don and explained that our sons along with one other boy had
managed to take a toilet door off its hinges (that’s the last thing I expected
to hear). As Gorgeous had never done anything
like this before, they were not going to take any action. Instead but they suggested we speak to our
sons about thinking through their actions and the consequences of what they do.
I picked up Gorgeous after the meeting and he was adamant that it was
not his fault. Knowing how many things
he has broken at home, I was inclined not to believe him at first. He explained that the other boy whose mum had
come in was very good and had just gone to the toilet. A third boy, whose mum didn’t come in, got
into the toilet too and started swinging on the door. Apparently he does this every day. When the first boy tried to get out, the
second boy pulled the door and slammed it into his head.
Gorgeous was trying to get into the same loo because he was desperate
to go to the toilet and the other toilets were dirty (of course the absolute
messiest of my children would be the one who slightly OCD about germs). He was also trying to help the boy that was
crying. So while the other two boys were
pushing the door shut, he was trying to pull it open. When the door fell off of its hinges, the
other boys ran off and he went to call the teacher.
So as always and in every single matter ever relating to him, it was not
his fault, but someone else’s. If fact
he was trying to help the boy that was crying (I asked him if he thought he was
some sort of superhero now). If anything
he was aggrieved that the door nearly fell on him and he had to move out of the
way.
The boy can’t lie with a straight face at all; in fact I always used to
catch the other kids out when someone did something naughty because I would know
if he did it or not (meaning it was usually Little man by default). So I knew he was telling the truth.
I told him he should still not have been pulling the door or try and
open it. I also told him if I ever heard
about him being inside the toilet cubicle with another boy I would take a slipper
to him (the first thing that the teacher mentioned when she spoke to us had
been that two boys had been caught in a cubicle together and this freaked me
out at the time). He looked at me as if
I was crazy – “no way mum!!”)
Anyway, I’ve explained to him he shouldn’t be pulling toilet doors, but
I don’t expect this to be the last silly thing he does. The thing is, despite causing the most chaos
of all my children, he never elicits any anger from me. Must be those big sad eyes.
image source (This still seems to apply to Gorgeous)
In the article that brought me to your blog you said you were trying a form of parenting that didn't involve physical punishment and involved being open minded.
ReplyDeleteBut here you tell your son that you'll hit him if he's in a stall with another boy.
I know Gorgeous is still a child, and I'm VERY likely being paranoid, but it sounds like you WOULD hit your child if it was possible he was homosexual?
Could I just have some context to that paragraph please, I just want to see how your parenting plan fits into making those kinds of ultimatums
Interesting comments Calum- you raise some valid points.
ReplyDeleteHi, I think Calum's comment deserved a fuller response so have written further on the matter here: http://www.happymuslimah.com/2015/01/motherhood-and-anxieties-comment-on.html
Delete