Finding Community

This Friday we were invited to a sister’s lunch with other ladies from the area. The host was a sister who moved here from the other side of London about three months ago. I always love these occasions mainly because they involve good food and we get to wear something nice. Now that I have my five children, I tend to dress practically and my nicer outfits get less of an airing.

I found something to wear and some bangles to match:

It was really nice to meet my friends from our sister’s circle and spend time in the company of good down-to-earth, women. One thing that always makes me smile is how well dressed they always are. The first time I went to one of these gatherings I dressed simply and kept my hijab on thinking that as most of the ladies wore niqab they would be fairly conservative. In fact they were dolled up beautifully – hair done up, make-up and dressy outfits. They may be conservative, but they are still feminine women who enjoy fashion and appreciate beautiful things. Wearing niqab meant that when they found a safe environment to dress up they took full advantage.

The sister who was hosting prepared a beautiful lunch for all of us with lots of dishes, some Pakistani style and some Gujarati style.

I have now and again received e-mails from sisters saying that they are isolated or new to a place and have struggle to make friends and find a place in their local community. The sister who hosted has been a virtual master class in how to do this. She moved to this area with her family about three months ago after her husband made enquiries locally about the area and particularly the masjid and what the environment was like for practising Muslims.

Once they had moved here, she made an effort to attend the sister’s circle linked to the masjid. She got to know the sisters and always took time to say salaam to us even though she is about my mum’s age. When a jamaat/dawah group visited she would cook for them and where they were women, she would come to meet them and join in their halaqah’s (study groups). She hosted a meal for all of the brothers for the masjid and the lunch that I attended was for their wives.

Within the space of a very short time, she became quite beloved to us. Of course it help that she is humble and always smiling, you feel safe with her knowing that she would never be rude or saying something unkind (I really do like good natured people).

If all this sounds like hard work, it can be. It take some effort and coming forward rather than waiting for others to make the first move. But Alhamdulillah this sister made the effort and I have nothing but love and admiration for her. May Allah (SWT) accept her good efforts, multiply the blessings from them and reward her copiously insh’Allah.