I don’t celebrate New Year’s and
the changing of the date does not hold a particularly great significance to me,
but it seems it as good a time as any to reflect on the last year and set
intentions for the coming year. 2018 was
a full year for me, both fulfilling and challenging and leaving me wanting to
do better.
I started the year with a new job
and high hopes working for local government in areas I was interested in: policy,
equality and diversity, community development, social action and research. Over the year, my knowledge grew as did My
passion about some of these things. I
think I can safely say that it has been the most enjoyable and rewarding year
of my working life. I’m looking forward
to the next year, but also thinking about pacing myself better, managing
workload, attention and energy levels. At the end of the year I feel as if I
need to re-think how work balances with other elements of my life.
I worry that my work takes up so
much headspace that it impacts on other elements of my life. I have always struggled to pray my salah
(daily prayers) with full khushoo (concentration and devotion) and have found
certainly when I pray at work, I have to work harder to set work aside and
clear my head for a little while.
My Word of the Year last year was
actually two words: Quran and Khidmat (Service). For the first, I am not
satisfied that I was able to dedicate enough time and energy to the Quran and
this is something that I intend to work on this year. Every other goal and intention pales into significance
in front of this one, because I keep telling myself that this is what we are
here to do: to understand Allah’s blessed word and live by it.
For khidmat, or service to others,
this is the type of worship that comes to me most easily and that I enjoy –
whether cooking for others, filling out forms, hosting or accompanying someone
on an appointment. Various opportunities
present themselves via the masjid and my family and neighbours and it is always
a blessing to get the opportunity to serve others.
In terms of family, hubby is my
rock as always and my one dependable anchor I can trust alhamdulillah. This year he has been busy with work, the affairs
of the masjid and demands on his time by attendees of the masjid. By the end of the year I did start to feel a
little neglected and sorry for myself.
But being me and unable to keep anything in, it wasn’t long before he
was appraised of the situation and buying me dinner (take-away solves everything
right?)
The kids were another matter. As the older three move into their teens we
have butted heads over so many things – technology, phones and internet access,
freedom to go out, prayer and Islamic studies, getting into fights at
school. It has made me questioned
everything about my parenting of my children. It has also made me grow – in patience
and in trusting Allah (SWT). This means
I have had to loosen up about some things and accept they are teenagers and try and remember what it felt like when I was their age.
The babies are now both full time at school and enjoying it…most of the time.
Darling is a regular swot and good girl mashallah, whereas Baby veers
between excitement and telling me school is boring. I am now looking at Quran instruction for
them, Little Lady has been teaching them a little, but is about to start the
final few months to her GCSE exams insh’Allah.
The loveliest blessing among many was
my new little niece Baby Z (I think I just made her sound like a baby Zombie). We are
all mad about her and enjoy cooing at her.
We were also blessed with my cousin’s sweet engagement, so are looking
forward to her wedding this year insh’Allah.
With respect to my health, I had
plans to lose weight this year, I did during Ramadan and put it back on again.
The one thing I did change was that I run every morning for 20 to 30 minutes on
a running machine that my husband got me.
I haven’t lost any weight, but I feel stronger, can take the stairs more
easily and have more energy for longer in the day, so it is a step in the right
direction.
The other thing that I got involved with this year, both through work and my neighbourhood, is some community work. This is something that has been close to my heart for a long time, but I just haven’t had the opportunity to do anything about. Hubby and I have joined the newly formed local resident’s association and he has applied for training for our local Street Watch scheme along with about fifteen people from his masjid. We have been worried about the state of the neighbourhood for a long time, so perhaps now we can contribute towards doing something about it.
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