I spent an afternoon with my oldest in central London shopping, squabbling,
disagreeing and trying to hold my tongue.
Her GCSE exams are finished now thankfully, and she is job hunting, I
hope this is enough to keep her busy and out of mischief.
I have come to the conclusion that we have different values and
such a different way of looking at things and I am trying to respect that. It still pains me the influence of peers and popular
culture and how quickly it seemed to erode everything we have tried to teach our
children: respect, compassion, faith and community. Yet the pull of a certain kind of materialistic
culture seems to override everything (the one that has every foolish teen
talking about their “best life” – usually referring to new trainers, make-up
and being allowed to go to Westfield shopping centre on their own. I can’t tell
you how much I have come to hate the term).
In any case, we seem to have come to a kind of truce, where she is
allowed to go out unsupervised, but must tell me where she is and come home
before six and I try not to stick my nose into her business too much. In return
she will be polite to her grandparents and help in the house when asked.
I am so tired of fighting and trying to keep an eye on what is
going on with her, I have four others to take care of alongside my in-laws at
the moment. I think this is the point
where she has to take responsibility for her actions and start managing her
time, money, worship and studies – she is the one who will have to live with
the outcome.
She is just growing into herself and feels the need to assert her own opinions, don't worry too much, she will come back to you in a couple of years and be a lovely friend for you (I am speaking from experience!)
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