With
my older children away, I was expecting a quiet easy-going Eid with the Babies
and a chance to just enjoy the moment.
With the house cleaned and organised, the menu planned, the food
shopping done and a decision to wear what we already have rather than buy new
clothes, Eid was looking good alhamdulillah.
Then
we got a call from friends saying they were on their way to come and stay with
us for Eid – all seven of them. And they
had left and were a few hours away – of an eight-hour drive.
This
may seem strange to people and you may question why we just didn’t tell them not
to come, but as Muslims we have always prided ourselves on our hospitality and have
always tried to help others. The rewards
for taking care of guests are supposed to be significant:
Prophet
Muhammad ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and
blessings of Allah be upon him)
said, "Whoever believes in God and the
Last Day, let him honor his neighbor; whoever believes in God and the Last Day,
let him honor his guest as he is entitled." It was said, "What is his
entitlement, O Messenger of God?" He said, "[The best treatment] for
one day and one night; and hospitality is for three days, and anything after
that is charity bestowed upon him. And
whoever believes in God and the Last Day, let him, speak good words or else
remain silent. (Saheeh Al-Bukhari)
The
Prophet ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam said,
"If Allāh wants good for a people, He sends them a gift." They asked
"What kind of gift, oh Prophet of Allāh?" He said, "The guest
comes with his own provision, and leaves with the sins of the people of the
house."
The Prophet ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam said, "Whoever
believes in Allāh and the Last Day must be generous with his guest." (Narrated
by al-Bukhaari, 5560)
Both
mum and dad in law were fuming. Dad because
he didn’t want to have to give up his bed and mum-in-law because, as she out it,
“I went out of my way to shame them the last time they came, so that they wouldn’t
come back, and now you let them back!”
My
husband is a kind, helpful man and he didn’t feel like he could say no. Our guests turned up at 1am expecting dinner,
which hubby mainly got from the shops – we are lucky there is always something
open near us. We had to pull out
mattresses and put some of them in the kid’s room which are empty at the moment
as they are in Pakistan. The Babies
outright refused to leave their room and had to be bribed with being allowed into
my bed (we put them on a mattress once they fell asleep).
We
spent the next day trying to feed and take care of our guests with trying to
complete Eid preparations. I hadn’t taken any time off work, so the day before
Eid (a Saturday) was the only day I had to prepare for Eid. Not expecting guests, I had invited my family
over for dinner, so had lots of grocery shopping and food prep to do.
By
the end of the day, I realised I had clocked about 24,000 steps on my Fitbit
watch trying to get everything done – I was exhausted. I had also been feeling off kilter
physically, and the lack of sleep the night before left me disorientated. In hindsight I think my blood pressure was low
and making me slow and tired.
By
the time they left, the day after Eid, I was tired, grumpy and feeling a little
ashamed at not feeling so hospitable (although I did behave and be kind to my
guests). I was a bit annoyed with myself that I had gone through all of the
effort, but not corrected my intentions - the reward for any good deed is based
on your intention to please Allah (SWT). I put it to my husband – Is the duty
to care for your guests such that you let yourself become ill? He agreed that it was clearly not, but what
could he do?
Alhamdulillah, sometimes the reminders of the virtues of our faith help (like the story below), but it's also important that we find a balance between a good deed with the right intention and doing what we can actually manage.
A
Story About Guests:
A
woman came to The Prophet ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa
sallam and complained to him about her husband that he invites too many
guests and she has become weary from preparing food for them and hosting them.
The Prophet ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam did
not answer and the woman left.
Sometime
later The Prophet ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam
called the woman’s husband and said, "I am your guest today."
The
man was so happy he went home and told his wife "The Prophet of Allāh ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam is our guest
today."
His
wife was ecstatic and spent time and effort and used every bit of food to
prepare for the arrival of the Most Honored Guest, The Prophet ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam.
After
the amazing joy of hosting The Prophet ṣallallāhu
'alayhi wa sallam generously, The Prophet ṣallallāhu
'alayhi wa sallam told the man, "Tell your wife to watch the door
from which I leave your home."
So
the wife watched the door from which The Prophet ṣallallāhu
'alayhi wa sallam left her home and saw all kinds of creatures, scorpions
and other harmful creatures leaving the house behind The Prophet ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam, upon which she
fainted due to the immense manifestation and greatness of what she had
witnessed.
When
she came to The Prophet ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa
sallam, he said to her, "This is what happens when the guest leaves
your home, with him all kinds of harm, trials and tribulations and harmful
creatures depart from your home, and that is the wisdom behind being generous
to one’s guest and becoming weary doing so." (source:
IslamFaith blog)
