Writing Little Bits

Assalam-alaikam to all of my lovely readers and the wayfarer who happen to come across this blog and stop a while. Peace and blessings insh’Allah.

I haven’t written in a little while for various reasons – my laptop giving me problems, taking ages to re-install software, or just the general business of life.

But I realise really, there are two big reasons for not writing – overwhelm and the opportunity to be creative elsewhere.  When I started blogging about 12 years ago, it was because I found myself with three little ones and in a very tedious job that stifled my creativity and half bored me to death.  Perhaps also a little loneliness on my journey because I didn’t really know any other working Muslim mothers.  Blogging allowed me to vent, write, look inwards and connect with other sisters over the years alhamdulillah.

My current job has had me in a euphoric head spin for the last nearly two years.  I can be creative, develop my own work, lead on things that interest me.  The role challenged me in all sorts of ways and meant I had to work fast, research, network and find new ways of doing things.  The current job also meant connecting with my community and volunteering for various things, which has also taken up lots of my time outside of work but has felt sooo rewarding.

I think because of these reasons, I have mostly quite fulfilled in terms of creativity and in my spare time, I just want to let my brain unwind and not do anything challenging.  But I am starting to realise that being creative outwardly is not the same as exploring inwardly, which blogging allows you to do.  Writing helps me to unpick what I am thinking and review how I am doing things.  It is a mechanism to clarify your thoughts to recognise your mistakes and to grow in your thinking.

The second reason I mentioned I stopped blogging was overwhelm.  After a few years of fighting my older children, I have come to realise that what worked when they were little, isn’t working now and I have had to re-learn how to parent them.  I have the youngest two girls, who require a different set of parenting skills (mostly cuddles but with lots of firmness, they are both strong willed in very different ways).  Work twists my brain in knots and then sets it running full speed in different directions, all excitement, ideas and then working out how to make something happen. I still have to do daily Arabic practise with the girls and most of the time the house is 80% tidy about 75% of the time.  Don’t get me started with cooking and fussy kids.  Any time I was free I wanted to switch my brain off and watch rubbish online or childish junk on Instagram. 

Then I got the reading bug and just wanted to read and read and read.

So today I finally had a free Sunday afternoon to sort out the software for my laptop, organise my documents and have a little think. In that time I also had a neighbour visit, had to get the girls ready for Arabic class and plan dinner. So it took a lot longer than expected to write a few words. 

But to get back to the overwhelm, I realised the idea of “catching up” on blogging and writing up book reviews and travel posts felt like too much and made me want to run away and not bother. So I have decided to start small.  A few words on what is happening, something I have learned or a simple picture.  Sometimes a few words open a dam and sometimes its enough to ease you back into writing without feeling too onerous insh’Allah.

“Start before you’re ready.” ― Steven Pressfield

“Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.” –  Arthur Ashe

“Just write every day of your life. Read intensely. Then see what happens. Most of my friends who are put on that diet have very pleasant careers.” ― Ray Bradbury