After much trauma trying to civilise my oldest
child, failing and then eventually reaching a truce, I determined to do things differently
with my second as he made his way through his teens: firm but fair, kind and
compassionate but encouraging independence and responsibility. There are days
and weeks when it works and then days where one wrong word or s small argument
seems to undo all of the good days.
In recent times (read pre-lock-down) we seemed to be
doing okay and getting along well most of the time. Since lock down though there seems to be more
ups and downs, and most of these seem to be related to food. I made him his
favourite biryani, but I couldn’t get the usual brand of biryani mix anywhere
so I used another, days of moaning ensued about how I ruined his favourite biryani.
I made him the chicken strips he requested, but his dad bought thigh rather
than breast meat and he complained it tasted different.
After a good few days of this and me explaining there
were lots of ingredients we couldn’t always get and that we were lucky to be still
eating well, I lost my temper and confiscated his phone and told him at 15 he
was old enough to cook for himself, I would be cooking only what I fancied from
now on and not what the rest of the houses wanted.
He went to bed hungry and didn’t talk to me for two
days. He has just started to thaw a little after realising I was going to continue
being kind but firm, continue to talk to him, remind him about prayers and schoolwork
and generally carry on as usual. I know what he really, really wants is his favourite
take-away. I have resolved not to order it until he fixes his attitude. He
could be on for a long wait. Or knowing how much I like food too, maybe not.
My youngest was hanging out with him and eventually
came to tell me she was bored as her brother was watching cooking videos 😊
For the latest updates and stories (including whether I manage to feed the kids or annoy them to death) please do follow me on my Instagram account and Insta-stories.
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